We are writing this letter to provide a platform for families with perpetual questions or emotional stressors that might be surfacing and yet not collaborated during this journey. Our life calling and experience positions us to understand the struggles that some families go through, we want to use the means of penning these words of encouragement to be a help in time of need.
The topic for this month is emotion wave. I have seen many people die in this life. Sometimes I have had the honor to speak to family about their passing. But seeing their face or hearing their voice on the phone, saying I will be there soon. How they react. Tells me there is more too this death process. The demeanor of the person goes solemn; some turn to tears. It is like a wave of emotion has washed over them. Everyone reacts differently. Some cry, some talk, some don’t at all. But the reaction is the respond to the emotion wave of shock that comes us. Jesus himself when he heard about his friend Lazarus passing wept. What do we do? What do we say? How do we help? Well, what do we do? We start by remembering why we are here. We are there to pay respects or we are there to grieve. Presence is the key. Showing people their value whether alive or dead is always based on presence. When we were children and we played support was it nice that mom, dad, family, and friends were there cheering you on. It is the same think. We are there to show them we care, and they were valuable to us. What do we say? Shakespeare said the pen is mightier than the sword. So, what you say does bears weight. Every person has their own feelings. So, think about what you want to say before you say it. That emotional wave of someone passing has hit them. The boat there in is tossed around, they are looking for balance and relief. Lastly, how do I help? First preparing patient and family for someone passing is important. First make sure everything you and they need to say to the person passing is said. Unresolved issues or things not said that needed to be said will turn it weights. When the emotional wave hits, weights will sink them further into despair or grief, metaphorically speaking. This will not bring the effect we all want. Also, if the patient or the family is religious or spiritual, meeting the needs before and after someone passes is critical. Hospice provides staff to help with religious and non-religious support. Helping is meeting the needs of the patient and family so when the emotional wave of passing hits grieving and balance can be completed.